Memory is the diary we all carry about with us.
~ Oscar wilde
The Work
2020 was the most challenging year of my life. Not only did I have to deal with the emotional toll of a global pandemic, I also made the excruciating decision to end my 14-year marriage. Thankfully, I happened to be working with an amazing therapist, who specializes in Grief Recovery. What began as an apparent off-the-cuff homework assignment morphed into a way of life for me. The task sounds simple:
Imagine you’re watching the clock strike midnight this New Year’s Eve. What are 50 memories you want to have from this past year?
But this assignment is anything but simple! It’s challenging to come up with 50 desired memories! I see my Memory List as a constant work in progress, as new items can always be added. The list allows me to tap into the experiences – big and small – that I want to have in my life. The result: I get to know who I am, the true me, who’s been buried beneath years of social conditioning.
The memories on the list fall into 3 realms:
- Likely: these are the most easily achieved, as they’re feasible and almost expected.
- Possible: these are the ones that could happen, and with a bit of effort, they will.
- Potential: these are unlikely, but wow, wouldn’t it be amazing if they were true?
What’s on your Memory List for this year?
Current List
Below is my list of memories that I want to have when I look back at this year on New Year’s Eve. Linked items have occurred, so you can read all about the memories I’ve made.
- Renting a winter cabin with friends in the Blue Ridge mountains.
- Hosting a games night with friends.
- Singing karaoke with friends.
- Taking a bath with a lit candle and music.
- Taking a trip to St. Augustine.
- Going skydiving.
- Visiting a trampoline park.
- Getting vaccinated against COVID-19.
- Trying my hand at acrylic painting.
- Taking a woodworking class.
- Hitting a triple or homerun in softball.
- Attending a Superbowl party.
- Taking an out-of-town trip to visit friends.
- Witnessing a shuttle launch.
- Going go karting.
- Ice skating with friends.
- Picking blueberries and making pancakes with them.
- Watching the Maple Leafs play in person.
- Successfully completing an escape room.
- Getting a hole-in-one while mini golfing.
- Designing and wearing my own T-shirt.
- Surviving calluses on my fingers and writing another song on the guitar.
- Sketching something in my sketchbook.
- Coloring using pencil crayons.
- Getting a dress shirt, vest, and pants tailored.
- Going to the Woodlawn Hitting Club to improve my swing.
- Making a new friend.
- Canoeing on the Hillsborough River.
- Watching The Neverending Story again.
- Running 3 miles in 30 minutes or less.
- Spending a week at my family’s cottage.
- Learning how to tie a tie.
- Going on a first date.
- Going to a Blue Jays Spring Training game.
- Tracking the path of Hurricane Mindy.
- Gambling in a casino.
- Visiting an animal sanctuary.
- Taking Toby to a dog park.
- Seeing a movie in a theater alone.
- Making sourdough bread.
- Start learning ASL and hold a (brief) conversation.
- …
You can also read the blog of all my memories, or browse previous years:
