For the month of January, I’m participating in Bloganuary, a daily blogging challenge.
What are 5 things you’re grateful for today?
The first week and a half of 2022 hasn’t started off on a very positive note for me. I’m homesick after the holidays. My dog spent a few days recovering from eating a couple cups of uncooked rice and spending a day at the vet ER. A close friend has distanced herself for reasons I understand, but still suck. A dear friend, whose influence changed my life, has died from cancer. Oh, and we’re in the midst of yet another COVID surge, and I’m just so tired of it all.
When I take stock of all this, when I write it down, it feels oppressive. My acknowledgement of it brings tears to my eyes, and I let it flow. This river of sorrow, of grief, is cleansing. The headwater is a boundless spring of love, and my choice to live my life with an open heart, will make me more susceptible to getting it broken. And I accept that.
You could even say that I’m grateful for living in such a way, where I’m ok to having the whole world break my heart. Because the alternative is not attractive to me. I don’t want to live walled in, closed off, and protected from possible hurt. I know that I can survive the pain of heartbreak, and taking the risk of finding big love, is so worth it to me.
It’s this outlook, it’s this perspective, that allows me to step into my gratitude. And from my vantage point today, here’s what I see:
- I’m grateful for the warmth of the winter sun in Florida. I took Toby for a walk, and reveled in the comfortable, 65°F (18°C) morning air. And I say this, knowing full well, that my family up in the Toronto area brace themselves against frigid temperatures just above 0°F (-16°C). I shiver in solidarity.
- I’m grateful for the people in my life I’ve leaned on heavily over the past couple of years, and especially the past couple of weeks, to help me stay standing. To my family, friends, and therapists, thank you.
- I’m grateful for my job. I’ve never felt more supported by an employer, and that feels really good.
- I’m grateful for the all the memories I have. And I’m not just talking about the intentional ones I’ve made and documented on this blog, but the ones I remember from traveling the world. The lessons I’ve learned and the experiences I’ve had have shaped me into a person I really like. That makes me happy.
- I’m grateful for living so close to a wild pride of peacocks. Seeing their iridescent feathers, hearing their cacophony of calls, and watching the chicks grow up, brings me tremendous joy.
Well done, Bloganuary. Answering the prompt today has helped me feel better this morning. And for that, I’m grateful.