Attending a Superbowl party.

Like many of the memories on my list, this one was severely threatened by the pandemic. And, honestly, up until an hour before kickoff, I didn’t have any plans for a Superbowl “party”, other than watching it with Toby on the couch.

I had received some news earlier in the day that weighed heavily on my heart. I didn’t feel like being social, so I was actually relieved that I hadn’t committed myself to any plans with others. I had accepted that this would be a memory I didn’t accomplish this year.

And then I got a text from my new friends in the condo unit upstairs, inviting me to watch the game with them. And, of course, Toby was invited, too.

Continue reading “Attending a Superbowl party.”

Taking a bath with a lit candle and music.

It’s been a tough week. It’s getting better, but, wow, the weight of this pandemic has been feeling heavier lately. I’ve been lonelier. I’m apparently on the verge of tears at all times. It’s more than just being sad. It’s deeper than that, but I hesitate to call it depression.

This pandemic has robbed me of enjoying touch, my primary love language. Hugs bring me to life, and even though I can still risk contracting or passing on COVID by fully embracing such an embrace, the threat of sickness deflates the moment for me. The hug or touch feels incomplete, and it doesn’t fulfill me with what I’m looking for.

Science validates my struggle, explained in this article. I’m frustrated that I can’t get what I want right now. I know I need to be patient, especially since the finish line appears to be within sight. But maybe, just maybe, I can find other ways to fill myself up.

Continue reading “Taking a bath with a lit candle and music.”

Getting a dress shirt, vest, and pants tailored.

Formal wear has always been an obstacle for me. I like the idea of dressing up, but I’ve never, ever felt comfortable doing it. It’s because I never, ever found fancy clothes that matched my expression.

For my entire life, I’ve lived in the comfortable space of androgyny. I feel exponentially more content donning clothes on the masculine side of the spectrum. But, the problem is that men’s clothing typically fits horribly over my very feminine, curvy body. Button-down shirts feel good over the shoulders, but my bust literally busts out at the chest, and that last button rarely has a shot of hanging on over my hips. Dress pants bunch and balloon at weird places. So, although I felt more comfortable in men’s garb, I didn’t really feel good wearing it.

That is, until now.

Continue reading “Getting a dress shirt, vest, and pants tailored.”

Watching The Neverending Story again.

The Neverending Story was one of those movies that helped define my childhood, along with Labyrinth, Willow, and The Princess Bride. These stories encouraged my imagination to soar, and although my memory of the actual plots isn’t overly solid, the feelings I have when I think about them are much, much stronger.

Honestly, it’s all the soundtracks that linger in my head when I think about these movies. For those in my age group – the recently-turned-40 people – I bet you can hear the melodies now. The Neverending Storyeeeeeeee, da na na da na na na na na. Or maybe you can hear David Bowie’s voice singing Dance, dance magic dance. Oh, the 80s.

Continue reading “Watching The Neverending Story again.”

Coloring using pencil crayons.

I remember participating in coloring contests as a kid. Crayola crayons were my go-to tools back then, outlining color sections darker and shading the respective inner sections as evenly as possible. Although I was never crowned a winner in one of those contests, I loved how colorful my pieces looked and how much I enjoyed the art of coloring.

I’ve told you before about how much I enjoy color, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that spending time coloring is an activity I’m drawn to. These days, pencil crayons are more my style, so I sharpened them and got to work.

Continue reading “Coloring using pencil crayons.”

Goodbye, 2020

New Year’s Eve is a day that always sits on the fence. It’s a time to reflect on the past 12 months, and simultaneously look ahead to what the coming year might bring. I don’t think I have enough vocabulary or eloquence to adequately justify how challenging 2020 was.

The world has been in crisis mode, and we’ve all had to find ways to work through our personal challenges that have stemmed from the global pandemic. The sheer amount of communal grief is overwhelming.

On top of all that, 2020 was the year I decided to flip my personal life on its head. Thinking back to the promise of the last New Year’s Eve, I still find it hard to believe how much has changed in my world this year.

Continue reading “Goodbye, 2020”

Fostering a dog.

As a kid, I remember my family getting our first dog. Winston was perfect. He had the gentlest of temperaments, which, as a boxer, contradicted his gruff appearance. He was loyal, relaxed, and protective. Winston was my first dog, and I fell in love instantly.

The number of canines steadily increased over the years. Murphy was the first join Winston, and when she had her first litter, we kept Shortts (you know, like boxer shorts). I remember Oreo and Maggie, but my memory fails me in trying to recall the others. What I can’t forget is all the poop they left for me in the backyard.

Continue reading “Fostering a dog.”

Going to the Florida Keys for a vacation.

Years ago, I went to Key Largo for a day trip from Miami. I went on a snorkeling tour with Ligeia, my ex-wife (ooph, that’s still weird for me to write), and my seasickness also decided to tag along. I ended up losing my lunch and chumming the waters. It wasn’t really a nice memory of being in the Florida Keys.

In creating my Memory List, I wanted to add a new chapter to how I remember the Keys, so I made sure to specify that I wanted to have a memory of actually going there for a vacation. A true vacation, where I could unwind and relax.

Continue reading “Going to the Florida Keys for a vacation.”

Taking pictures of flowers at the botanical gardens.

For as long as I’ve been taking pictures, which admittedly, I can’t pinpoint exactly when that started, I have thoroughly enjoyed photographing flowers. There’s something intriguing about looking at life on a macro level, appreciating the colors in the frame, and finding the most pleasing depth of focus.

I suppose that’s why I find studying flora through the lens is so calming for me. It’s an escape from the hustle and bustle of the pavement, and instead, a foray into the beauty of the natural world.

Continue reading “Taking pictures of flowers at the botanical gardens.”

Sleeping that first night in a brand new bed.

I moved into my apartment back in mid-July, into the guest room while my friend was packing up and preparing to move out a couple weeks later. But, as has come to be expected in 2020, those plans didn’t unfold in the way I had thought.

I made myself at home in that guest bedroom, painting it to be more my style, and setting up my home office. It was cramped. It wasn’t ideal, but it ended up lasting for 3 months. For the first month of that time, I was sleeping on a lumpy futon mattress. I hated it.

So I started shopping for mattresses, and in my head, I heard the generic advice I’ve received over the years, informing me that of all the things I should splurge on, it needs to be on shoes and mattresses. I knew I wasn’t going cheap this time, but I wanted to do research on what would be best for me.

Continue reading “Sleeping that first night in a brand new bed.”